Battle: Crabcake!

But first, let me tell you about my best friend. (Well, one of them but really, they're both the same person, don't ask me, I don't make the rules)

It all started in high school. Well. No, wait, that's not quite true. I met Krumpet (subject of this post) back in 9th grade, but I met Tea (my other best friend) the summer between sixth and seventh grade.

No wait, that's not true either. I became friends with Tea the summer between sixth and seventh grade. I first met her on the school bus in sixth grade when she wouldn't tell me her name. I guess her family was in WITSEC or something? (that's not true either, I am apparently nothing but a LIAR LIAR LIAR today just call me Henry Rollins). But we rode the bus together during the school year and then, on my first day of summer school (voluntaryish - voluntary because I wasn't repeating a class, I didn't HAVE to go to summer school in order to pass, ish because YES, I did have to go to summer school because my parents wanted me out of the house).

Wait. I digressed. Again.

So, during the school year, we had different bus stops and different class schedules, so we didn't really interact. For summer school, they moved our respective bus stops so we were at the same stop, and it turns out we were taking the same (VOLUNTARY) class, this was 1980 and we were learning how to program in BASIC. So that's how I met Tea and we were basically inseparable.

And then, when we started ninth grade, in 1982, we met Krumpet. Now, I have written the "how we met" story before, on an old blog, but I don't feel like linking to it so I'll just excerpt here:

I met Krumpet in ninth grade. In Mr Zoulias' Biology class. Mr Zoulias was not a good person to be teaching Bio as he was a bit of a perv himself, always leering down the young girls' shirts. Plus, he wore hideous plaid pants which might even be a worse offense.
Also, we had Biology seventh period, near the end of the day so rowdiness was usually setting in by the time we got to his class.
Our desks were arranged in the shape of a big ol' U, with a few rows of desks situated in the interior of the U. Tea (my oldest bff (in terms of tenure, not age!)) and I sat at the top of one end of the U, Krumpet and HER bff, Lilibet, sat at the other end of the U.
One loooooong boring afternoon, I look over and this strange girl (that would be Krumpet) is making faces at me. More specifically, she is pretending to be hanging from a noose with her tongue sticking out. It must be noted here that her tongue? Was pointing the wrong way.

I poked Tea. "Hey! Look at that girl over there!"
But the moment Tea looked over, Krumpet ceased her shenanigans and went all nonchalant and stuff.
I should have taken this as a sign of things to come and run far far away, but instead.....I giggled.
Tea went back to pretending to pay attention to Mr Z and Krumpet resumed her noose routine.
I poked Tea again.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
And that's how Tea and Krumpet and Lilibet and I eventually became The LADIEEEEZ.

Oh look, here comes another digression by way of confession! I have NO CLUE how to use this site for blogging. In my heyday I knew all kinds of HTML and ish and I am sure I will relearn it but for now? Yeah, no clue. That is not the point of this digression. The point of this digression is that I decided to use the little embedded quotey thingy but I can't figure out how to close the quote and I am SURE all you smart and lovely people were able to figure out where the quote ended but it annoys ME that there is no closing quotation mark.

Imma need a copy of Blogger for Dummies kaythxb

MOVING ON.

So, the hubs and I were out to dinner with Krumpet and her long term boy toy, Not-Jesus. Hubs and I both got crabcakes. We're Murlunders so we are pretty picky about our crabcakes. Romano's has MAGNIFICENT crabcakes. Nice big ol' hunks with only enough filler to hold them together. If you don't know Maryland, you don't know crabcakes, I have spoken.

We each only finished about half of our respective 'cakes, him a tad more than half, me a tad less. Our server came by and asked if we needed boxes. We all said yes (Not-Jesus' fried fish filet was bigger than his head and Krumpet also had leftovers) so our server asked how many boxes and I said that hubs and I only needed one, we could put both crabcakes together. Because I care about the environment and conservation and stuffs.

Hubs immediately was all "Heyyyyyyyy, you're going to steal my [bigger] crabcake!" and I'm all "Nooooooooo" while secretly thinking "that's a brilliant idea!" and then Krumpet piled on, insisting that we must differentiate my crabcake from his in some unmistakable way because apparently his being a tad bit bigger and a tad bit darker wasn't enough. So we tried to create a citrus barrier between mine and his but that was less than ideal because the citrus refused to stay stationary, lemons migrate apparently, so then he put his on a lettuce leaf but that wasn't idea either as the crabcake could wick moisture from the lettuce leaf and turn all sad and mushy so then we started casting eyes around the table looking for other props and that is how my husband's crabcake ended up wearing a hat.

Kinda like this: