One Day I'll Get Regular

Okay, here is a bulleted list of what I have been up to for the past two and a half months:

Went to Disney World for the first time ever. That was all kinds of awesome.
Got my father out of our house and back into his own apartment
Reclaimed my home bar and expanded it.
Started to learn Canva
Started working on removing 10+ years of junk and clutter accumulation
Other duties as assigned.

Yeah. That's about it.

Of course, I've done more than that. A bulleted list can not hope to encompass EVERYTHING. Isn't that the point of a bulleted list, to summarize?

But still. I spent time with friends, with family, with the hubs, I worked, I cooked, I cleaned, I lived a life. I am continuing to live a life. It gets hard sometimes. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my life. It's a good one. But the world is on fire and that colors every moment of this life.

Is it okay to be happy now? I honestly don't know. It feels....almost dishonest to allow moments of happiness. I don't know how to exist right now. Everything and everyone I love is under attack, or so it seems.

Also? I'm fifty-six. For as long as I can remember, I've had my own expiration date in my head set at seventy. Do not ask me where I came up with that; it's always been there.

I met the hubs twelve years ago.

I'll be seventy in 14 years.

By my own mental calculations I'm almost halfway through my time with him.

But I'm not done with him. I kinda dig him, y'know?

Kinda freaking out tbh.

(ETA: I wrote this back in April but never published because it felt too raw. Imma bury it here and see if anyone notices.....later)