I am old and creaky and have many much pains but the worst
of the pains is caused by a disc in my back.
It comes and goes, but when it comes it stays far too long and keeps me
from doing things I like to do (wine festivals!
concerts!) and things I don’t like to do (work! fucking laundry!). In the past year, it’s been coming more
often, and staying longer so I finally saw a doctor and the doctor has sent me
to physical therapy which is working wonders, HUZZAH!
The therapist I see there is WONDERFUL and I have no idea
how I am going to live my life once my insurance company decides not to pay for
any more appointments, but for now, I am happy.
She also has several young people who work with her, including Young Boy
Josh.
Now, I am sure Young Boy Josh is not THAT young. He’s probably in his 20s. But that’s young to
ME ::shakes cane::
And he is so adorably earnest and goofy and I CAN NOT with
him. I went in today and before I hopped
up on the table to get my TENS and heat going, I put my phone in my pocket, but
before I could put my phone in my pocket I had to ascertain whether my pants
HAD pockets which, as all of us ladies know, is never a guarantee because THE
PATRIARCHY! So yeah, these pants had
pockets which gave me a brief moment of exultation which Young Boy Josh noticed
and he’s all what’s the what? So I told
him “I HAVE POCKETS!” and he’s all “Neat!” and I said, “Young Boy Josh, you do
not understand. YOU are a male type
person and always can count on pockets” and he said, all happy and eager and
chipper, “LOOK! I have two of them!”.
Show off.
So I get my ten minutes with the TENS unit and….
Okay, wait, maybe some of you don’t know what a TENS unit
is? Just in case, I will tell you. It is a Godsend. It allows me to get through my day without
crying constantly. After my first
session with one, I immediately went home and purchased an at-home unit. Basically, there are two sticky pads which,
in my case at least, get stuck to my lower back on either side of my
spine. There are wires attaching the
pads to the unit itself, which, once activated, sends a mild electric current to
the pads. I don’t know why it works, I
just know it does.
So right. I get my
ten with the TENS and Young Boy Josh comes to help me off the table and he puts
the unit in his pocket and goes to grab the storage bag for the pads. Except.
The pads are still on my back and the wires are still attached to the unit
and the unit is in Young Boy Josh’s pocket and Young Boy Josh AND his pocket is
WALKING AWAY and I yelp “JOSH!” and he’s all, “Oh. Oops!”
So that situation gets all resolved and I go through all my
exercises that I am supposed to do, with Young Boy Josh’s guidance and we get
to the last one and it is my least favorite but I gots to do what I gots to do
so I ask him how many reps and he says “ten” and I’m all “FINE” and then he
says, “no wait, 15, I was looking at the wrong line” and I legit growl at him.
There are other young people who work there also but none of
them are as entertaining. I wonder if I
can request Young Boy Josh for all my appointments. That’d probably look weird, yeah? Yeah.
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